Jabberwocky: The True Story

With apologies to Lewis Carroll, and in the hope that if he is perched on a cloud reading this, he is doing so with a tolerant and indulgent smile.

’Twas brillig; and the toves, they gyred,
The wabe, by this not uninspired,
Gimbled them most slithily.
The sun shone on the Tumtum tree.

That Tumtum tree of uffish thought
To which the Jabberwock, much sought,
At last did come with eyes of flame
And burbled madly as it came.

The beamish boy alone did stand,
The bravest knight in all the land.
Around the boy were doctors ten,
The wisest and most stern of men.

“Too much,” quoth one, “this Jabberwock!
They all recite it ’round the clock.
Each day they wake the manxome foe,
And to defeat it he must go.”

“So many times the beast to find –
No wonder it’s unhinged his mind.”
“He cuts and thrusts at empty air
While all around him stand and stare.”

E’en as they spoke, a voice was heard,
A shadow of the beast appeared.
He cut; the Jabberwock he slew,
And yet another head it grew.

Before “Callooh! Callay!” was cried,
Before the Jabberwock had died,
Another voice, another blade,
The vorpal sword anew was made.

“I know,” cried one, “what we must do!
We’ll change the words, and swiftly too.
A different ending we shall write,
A closure to this ceaseless fight.”

He said anon, “With claws that catch,
With Jubjub Bird and Bandersnatch,
The Jabberwock – a peaceful beast,
And not aggressive in the least,

“With eyes that held no trace of flame,
In willing friendship gladly came.
The vorpal blade was thrown away
And beast and man made peace that day.

“Away they went, and made a pact
That never more by heedless act
Of schoolboy would they thus be called
And in unwilling joust installed.”

They look, as one, into the wood
Where lately the combatants stood –
And see, with unbefitting shock,
No beamish boy, no Jabberwock.