The wind and the rain have begun in Bombay, and the city being what it is, one will be able to say, "The rain it raineth everyday," without pausing to draw breath, for the next three months, and not put a dent in the truth.
That the monsoon is always an occasion for cheer would probably be a source of surprise, if not astonishment, to people who live in more temperate climes; one can understand their point of view. In places where "Summer" implies beachball and sunshine that is warm without being oppressive, the thought of the skies opening to ruin the beachball and put paid to the sunshine is hardly a happy one.
The romantic associations of the monsoon aside, it certainly is one of the most pleasant times of the year. Finally at an end is the summer's dilemma of choosing between sleeping in relative comfort and doing your bit to preserve the habitat of the polar bear. And then there's the fact that nothing brings out the finer points of a murder mystery better than reading it during a thunderstorm. Even the squelchiness and dampness that can result from a July commute is bearable, when taken as a part of a happy whole.
Besides, is there anyone who really doesn't like the occasional walk in the rain? If such there be, go mark him well - in him no monsoon raptures swell. (With apologies to the poet Scott.)
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
NSE's Certification in Financial Markets
I took the NCFM last week. The exam itself was easy enough; it seems to have been set keeping in mind the fact that traders have very little leisure to devote to the perusal of the NCFM study material (and even less to decode its legalese). One of the questions asked was:
Regarding which of the following is the NSE not flexible when candidates take the NCFM exam?
a) Place of the exam
b) Candidate’s presence
c) Time of the exam
d) Date of the exam
Since we had all selected Mumbai, June 6 and 9:30 am on the NSE website, but none of us had found an option to take the exam by proxy, it was fairly straightforward.
Any euphoria we felt at our success in the exam was swiftly driven out of our minds by hunger; we had several hours to wait until our second exam in the afternoon, and the NSE seemed not to want us to eat.
We had brought our lunch with us, and on asking the guard at the door where we could eat it, we were told to go to the canteen on the first floor. Thither we went, and as soon as we stepped out of the elevator we were accosted by another guard who demanded what our business was.
We explained, in as few words as possible since we were ravening by then, that we were between exams and wanted to eat lunch. He shook his head ruefully and told us that the NSE was always sending people up here to eat; it was, however, the ONGC office and he was very sorry but he could not permit us to enter without legitimate cause.
We went back downstairs thinking dark thoughts of the man who had sent us there. “I think,” said one of my friends, “that they make bets on how long people will argue with the ONGC guard before returning. Ten-to-one on two minutes, fourteen-to-three on five minutes, that kind of thing.”
After the second exam we were positively starving. We went and asked the guard if we could, at least, eat in the atrium.
“No,” he said conspiratorially, “but why don’t you go back to ONGC and sneak in while the guard’s back is turned?”
In the end I ate one sandwich standing on the sidewalk outside the NSE and the other when I got back home. But it was, without exception, the hungriest I have ever been while writing an exam.
Regarding which of the following is the NSE not flexible when candidates take the NCFM exam?
a) Place of the exam
b) Candidate’s presence
c) Time of the exam
d) Date of the exam
Since we had all selected Mumbai, June 6 and 9:30 am on the NSE website, but none of us had found an option to take the exam by proxy, it was fairly straightforward.
Any euphoria we felt at our success in the exam was swiftly driven out of our minds by hunger; we had several hours to wait until our second exam in the afternoon, and the NSE seemed not to want us to eat.
We had brought our lunch with us, and on asking the guard at the door where we could eat it, we were told to go to the canteen on the first floor. Thither we went, and as soon as we stepped out of the elevator we were accosted by another guard who demanded what our business was.
We explained, in as few words as possible since we were ravening by then, that we were between exams and wanted to eat lunch. He shook his head ruefully and told us that the NSE was always sending people up here to eat; it was, however, the ONGC office and he was very sorry but he could not permit us to enter without legitimate cause.
We went back downstairs thinking dark thoughts of the man who had sent us there. “I think,” said one of my friends, “that they make bets on how long people will argue with the ONGC guard before returning. Ten-to-one on two minutes, fourteen-to-three on five minutes, that kind of thing.”
After the second exam we were positively starving. We went and asked the guard if we could, at least, eat in the atrium.
“No,” he said conspiratorially, “but why don’t you go back to ONGC and sneak in while the guard’s back is turned?”
In the end I ate one sandwich standing on the sidewalk outside the NSE and the other when I got back home. But it was, without exception, the hungriest I have ever been while writing an exam.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Felis Domesticus, or the Habits of the Cat
One of the few failures of the Oxford English Dictionary is its inability to define a cat. It tries, certainly, but descriptions of mammalian characteristics, short snouts and retractile claws, which might be scientifically accurate, fall woefully short in other respects.
Every time I watch the clock with the firm conviction that some mad scientist has been fiddling with the space-time continuum and then been unable to make time go at its proper speed again, I find myself wishing I had the temperament of a cat. Not even the meanest alley-cat will consent to do something you want unless that coincides with what it wants.
Nor will a cat, if you are attempting to bribe it with food or drink, ever settle for anything other than precisely what it wants. If it wants a 56% solution of milk powder in water, it wants a 56% solution of milk powder in water; if you are thick enough not to comprehend this immediately, it will wait with growing impatience, rejecting bread, three different kinds of biscuits, and cake, until you finally hit on what it wants. Even then, and no matter how hungry it is because of your ineptitude, it will not accept a 55.5% solution.
And having taken the bribe, it will go back to doing what it was doing before you interrupted it, without doing what you wanted it to do in exchange for the milk.
Reproach it, though, point out its base perfidy, and it will regard you with an expression of injured innocence. Not even a newborn lamb can look as blameless as a cat that is guilty of enough sins for twenty cats.
The cat will then go on its way, no doubt feeling that it has done enough towards the maintenance of its relationship with you simply by consenting to be a part of it, and you will be left sweeping up the biscuit crumbs.
Every time I watch the clock with the firm conviction that some mad scientist has been fiddling with the space-time continuum and then been unable to make time go at its proper speed again, I find myself wishing I had the temperament of a cat. Not even the meanest alley-cat will consent to do something you want unless that coincides with what it wants.
Nor will a cat, if you are attempting to bribe it with food or drink, ever settle for anything other than precisely what it wants. If it wants a 56% solution of milk powder in water, it wants a 56% solution of milk powder in water; if you are thick enough not to comprehend this immediately, it will wait with growing impatience, rejecting bread, three different kinds of biscuits, and cake, until you finally hit on what it wants. Even then, and no matter how hungry it is because of your ineptitude, it will not accept a 55.5% solution.
And having taken the bribe, it will go back to doing what it was doing before you interrupted it, without doing what you wanted it to do in exchange for the milk.
Reproach it, though, point out its base perfidy, and it will regard you with an expression of injured innocence. Not even a newborn lamb can look as blameless as a cat that is guilty of enough sins for twenty cats.
The cat will then go on its way, no doubt feeling that it has done enough towards the maintenance of its relationship with you simply by consenting to be a part of it, and you will be left sweeping up the biscuit crumbs.
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